MUXTAPE R.I.P.

I banged on about Muxtape a while back because it used to be brilliant, but the site was promptly shut given that it infringed upon pretty much every copyrighting law ever written ever in the world. Ever. Its creator marched on, however, insisting that the site would return.

I assumed therefore it would be back with its frankly innovative 12-track mp3 mix-tape format, but they seem to have been restricted to the point where the only music they can have on there has to be put forward by the recording artist of said music. Though sadly they might find themselves a bit behind in conforming to such concepts.

Oh, if anybody does have Last.FM or however these hackers are naming it these days, you can find my embarrassing profile hither.

J'ADORE LA BLOGOTHEQUE, THANKS

If I feel down, I can put an episode of Stewart Lee's new 'Comedy Vehicle' on the BBC IPlayer, or I can see what sparkling musical gems La Blogotheque has to offer. The answer is, many things.

Its a French site which renders the (probably great) music news pretty hard to read (unless you're well versed in the language of love). But if you can navigate well enough to get to the Concert à Emporter section, you'll be treated to a stunning collection of expertly recorded mini-concerts. Each one takes a talented artist out (or in, depending on how philosophical) of their average recording element, gives them some pots and pans or a child's keyboard, and makes them play their best songs as you've never heard before.

To this day I can't work out how they manage to record these artists so well, especially in outdoor environments. Add to this mix, some stunning cinematography and the omnipresent beauty of Paris and you have yourself an epic archive of audiovisual immensity. Enjoy dears.

#93.3 - BON IVER - For Emma, Forever Ago
by lablogotheque

AWARENESS FILM CONVENTIONS

I've decided start calling this sort of post 'Media Conventions Bemoaned' from now on, (and yes I realise its not snappy or funny but I'm not getting paid so get over it). Basically I'll try as best I can to document the highly formulaic rules and conventions adhered to by those pushing music, film, books etc. which have proven successful.

What's got Chris' goat this time? Awareness Films. This ones getting particularly rife and for some reason they all look to have been made by the same people. Below are a few of those principles that come to mind for Awareness Docs:

- They've all won an award or two (and they'll tell you about it in the trailer or on its website, usually in brackets made of Julius Caesar's crown)

- They're 'Important' films (usually touted as such by some relatively unknown scientist/expert of said field)

- Epic music permeates as the aforementioned scientists reel off scores of complicated sounding problems with the earth. This is then replaced by a jaunty track to signify the 'what we can do to help' section which is self-explanatory

- People have gotten at least slightly excited by them at Sundance

- A lot of pictures of industry (some crude oil, a cow being injected with buffalo spunk, a tyre on fire)

- There will be a very definite allusion towards the idea that 'the man is keeping all this a secret', maaaan

- There will be a catchy title and intriguing graphic design for the film

To the part-time cynic such as myself, these films seem to appeal to a rather slim demographic. Well, pretty much just Americans. They cleverly play on gullible, shit-scared American folk's sensibilities and innately nervous dispositions. It'd even seem that they believe beyond all reasonable doubt that climate change and all the other crimes against mother earth mean that we're sure to be dead shortly, a fate depicted here in an artists representation. Oh and don't think for one second that they won't enlist runner-up president Val Gore to make it seem more believable, (it turned out he only wanted to do it because he liked talking). I'm just kidding, we probably will all just die of a lack of water or oil or wheat or something.

Until then I'm going to drive around in my tank that fires water out of it and emits shit loads of nasty toxic waste, eating a GM Food sandwich and cackling.



(Edit: Does the fact that the smoke in this picture looks like a breast mean that Al Gore has fallen foul of the oedipus complex or just that he likes razz mags?)

KATHRYN BIGELOW MILF GIGALO

Call me a belligerent prick but Kathryn Bigelow has only made two films in my opinion. One of them is Point Break which is rubbish so thats worth skirting over too. She did however make Near Dark which was an excellent take on the already pretty flogged Vampire genre.

Now she's back after a forgettable string of directorial outings, pitting herself against the adversity of another done to death genre in the form of Iraq War Drama, avec massive explosions. Cynicism aside, it actually looks pretty good. Check it out below.

The Brakes - Touchdown (20th April, Fatcat Records)

Pray tell, why are Brakes still not widely accepted as one of the best bands around today? I mean nobody can dispute the wealth of groundwork these guys have put in since their debut in 2004 in Brakes alone. But include their previous musical excursions such as lead singer/guitarist Eamon Hamilton's contributions to British Sea Power and brother-team Alex and Thomas White's Electric Soft Parade, you realise they have long been posted at the metaphorical front lines of British music. Brandishing instruments in the dirty trenches and foxholes that are the mid-sized venues and festivals of the country, they fire salvos of pop-rock nirvana at the (widely) unsuspecting masses, in both recorded and live form. resupplied by a hardcore of fans evidenced at their live shows and a seemingly underwhelming level of backing from the media, Brakes have gladly soldiered on - thank god.

I touted Brakes' first outing 'Give Blood' as 2005's best album like an excitable loud mouthed child fresh off a dream holiday from Disney Land Florida. Needless to say, to that opine I stuck my proverbial guns. Though I didn't view their 2006 effort 'Beatific Visions' as bettering their nigh-on perfect debut, it certainly demonstrated a plateau of brilliance in songwriting. But in truth I'll be worried about the world (that or everyones ability to hear) if 'Touchdown' doesn't besiege a the hearts and minds of at least a reasonable number of people who proclaim themselves lovers of music.

A gleeful simplicity emanates in true Brakes form with charmers like 'Eternal Return' bouncing along with a country bass line and walking drums. Briefly touching upon their space theme, our man pleads "don't take me to space (man), I've had a taste of true love...I don't care if this worlds corrupted, I don't want to be abducted..." on 'Don't Take Me To Space (Man)', at just two tracks in has you wondering why guitars can't always sound so grizzled and meaty.

Though far from the ballsy briefness of 'Cheney' and 'Pick up the Phone' (10 and 30 seconds long respectively) from Give Blood, the truly maniacal still erupts to the forefront propelled by Eamon's controlled yelping in gems like 'Red Rag'. Don't think for one second he doesn't exploit his ability to write a palpably emotional love song and push his voice to match, though.

Once again and with an effortlessness they could copyright Brakes have struck back at boredom with another short (35 minute) but perfectly formed album. The soundtrack to a summer, precursor to a night of merriment, or meaty guitar-sound fix like methadone to a smackhead, Touchdown will satisfy the aurally fixated. Procure this belter and come watch them April 29th at Bodega Social in Nottingham.

5/5

The Bookhouse Boys - April 14th, Bodega Social

Short of hanging members from the rafters (some sort of harness maybe), it was somewhat intriguing to see how the full nine-member outfit of the Bookhouse Boys would fit on stage at the Bodega. But fit onstage they did - brandishing guitars, trumpets, drumsticks and a sultry distant stare courtesy of the only female in the ensemble.

I try to look past the shallow dismay briefly swamping me, induced by a lack of the snappy attire I expected from these Londoners. But this is a task made easy as the springy reverb of lead singer and guitarist Paul Van Oestren's synonymously Surf six string filled my ears.

Its two songs in and I'm compelled by some divine force to throw my head around a little, aided by 'Dead', which answers any queries one might have about Oestren's live singing voice captured live. Every bit as haunting and exciting. Trumpets flair and a sea of voices fill the air spearheaded by Catherine Turner, "HE WAS DEAD IN YOUR EYES..", howls our leading man as the shit well and truly hits the fan.

Then 'G-Surf' hits; more than a mere tip of the hat to an influential genre. Power surges. Closing my eyes I swear I saw a suited Robert Rodriguez inspired character perched tentatively at the nose end of a long-board, gun in hand, dealing with a giant foaming sea swell...Its shambolic but controlled madness, grounded by a sense of duty to the cause, and every minute of it a pleasure to watch.

Problem being, one wishes they'd of played for another ten minutes. A short tour, and seemingly little awareness about The Bookhouse Boys meant a meagre turnout but I'll wager these cats will be back in the north in front of larger crowds in future.

4/5

I'M IN LOVE.

New video from St. Vincent, whom until now I thought to be a bit bland. The song is great and the video too, if a little derivative of Nick Cave's 'Into My Arms' which I've also posted below - given that its incredible (though Cave admitted that he didn't think it fitted the song).

But either way, HOW ATTRACTIVE IS THIS WOMAN?

LOLLED TILL I ROFL'D

HAH! I just stumbled across an amusing little video on FilmDrunk. Its basically a fake advert for Resident Evil 5 starring Jim Henson puppets, and its right below all this typing nonsense because I know you all like moving pictures and such.

PICTURES, EVERYWHERE PICTURES.

Jobless, destitute and lonely, I spend most of my time trawling blogs and webpages looking for pretty pictures. The most recent bounty of such otherwise inconsequential days came with the discovery of Wax & Milk. Now these might sound like two completely ordinary words to you (namely because they are) but don't be fooled, this site kicks ass. Its basically a 'visual mixtape' constituted by a stunning array of film/music posters and flyers, rare photographs of actors and influential musicians.

Whoever mediates it also seems to have a more than satisfactory liking for Winona Ryder which I'd ordinarily deem competition in my 'wooing Winona Ryder' campaign but I'll let said person go because he has a pretty site. Oh and there's tonnes of vintage Beastie Boys snaps to feast your looking tackle on. BOOMY.

Let The Right One In - Revisited?

A while ago I got a bit excited about the prospective belter that was Let The Right One In ('Låt den rätte komma in' in its native Swedish tongue) directed by Tomas Alfredson. The film has done the rounds in the art-house film industry and has been met with a high degree of admiration and a smattering of praise from the vamp genre's staunch critics.

Personally I felt that my excitement for it was highly justified for many reasons; the cinematography was truly breathtaking at times, in its visual exploitation of the small Swedish town in which it was based. Secondly, the performances from the two leading young actors were fiercely impressive. Thirdly, the film operates on several levels (no doubt a principal point of its success) in that the story delivers with a coming-of-age narrative, as well as a well executed vampire one. Lastly, I found Let The Right One In to flow exceedingly with moodiness and impending doom omnipresent. Pretty much ticked most of the boxes for me anyway.

So its a fantastic film - as a result you might be as surprised as me to learn that they will be remaking it. In England. At Hammer studios. This is puzzling to me given that Hammer's recent history since its 'rise from the grave' (you see what they did there sort of?) has been remarkably shit. The betting man would probably wager that Hammer have decided to remake it to cash in on some top wonga, a concept not exactly alien to the film industry. But the worrying thing is, its potentially going to be absolutely shit. I mean the problem being; it would be nigh on impossible for the great God Almighty himself to encapsulate the beautiful transience of Alfredson's original, not least because they want to set it in England.

I know virtually nothing of Hammer, I leave that to moggles. But from what I've seen of their recent forays into the bloodthirsting genre, a remake of a very recent and important Swedish film would be nothing short of sacrilage. But then I don't pay their bills.

In A Dream

Wowser, this film looks like its gonna be a belter/soul crusher. It follows a now aged Philadelphia-based artist responsible for a wealth of mosaic murals, amassing 50,000 square feet of the city in a variety of places. As well as chronicling his works it will follow his tempestuous marriage and its imminent collapse, despite his wife being seemingly his perpetual muse.

If it doesn't already sound intriguing to you, then you might be excited to find that post-rock royalty Explosions in the Sky and glitchy-electronic Danish nutjobs Efterklang. Both of which will no doubt add a multitude of depth to what already promises to be a brilliant piece of documentary film-making.

ITS FUNNY RIGHT?

I was just mooching around the internet like an inexplicably fat vegan (possibly Rick Rubin) at a health foods store, when I stumbled upon this . It actually turned out to be quite amusing and not at all as infuriating as I'd originally thought, I tried it by uploading Hounds of Love by Kate Bush because it was the first thing on hand. Came out quite well. Give it a go you schmuck!

BRING THEM TOGETHER. LET THE LOW NOTES HURT US ALL

Later on this year I'm going to put together a reasonably comprehensive list of tunes with some downright dirty drop-D guitar tones, and general metal bands that make me erect. For now though, I've stumbled across two new treats:

Maggot Brain Are a Stoner metal outfit hailing from Spain who I found on last.fm (well worth getting involved with if you haven't already). These guys have an awesome sound, with a feel hailing back to the forefathers of stoner rock, Kyuss. The guitars are as thick and meaty as any 80's porn film innuendo, drums full and wide (possibly a more obscure 80's porn film innuendo) and they've got a great energy. Problem is the whole thing's spoilt a bit by an over zealous Spanish dude who's slightly cheesey broken English cheapens the whole deal. Plus he's far too loud in my opinion. Still, have a look you idiot.

Secondly, I was at a barbecue last night and found a C.D by Slaughter which I naturally picked up and stared at for a good ten minutes. Anyways, they're A Canadian thrash outfit that've been releasing since 1984 and they're awes and cart - If you're going to check them out, then don't confuse them with the immensely wank American band of the same name.

Thirdly, Immortal Lee County Killers explode with some aggressive blues inspired writhing, punctuated by what appears to be a crazy homeless chap with half a broken bottle wedged in his dirty clavicle. Mucky sounds for Mucky folk. It'd make a good soundtrack to a particularly brutal bar fight. Check out 'Robert Johnson' and 'Let's get killed'.

Best till last and all that, Todd have re-shuffled their line up and returned to the heavy fold with a trademark and purposefully badly recorded bang.

(Perhaps the most lackluster thrash band logo, but I love it like a retarded brother)

IS THAT AN AXE?

Brett Easton Ellis likes making good films (in my opinion anyways). His new one doesn't look bad either - but then I would say that, its got New Order and A Flock of Seaguls in the soundtrack and some hottie in the buff (and the implication of a bit of illicit drug use). So back to the 1980's he ventures, as with his most notable success which also saw one of Christian "GET THE FUCK OFF MY SET" Bale's best performances to date. Rich folk, double-crossing and loads of close ups of Mickey Rourke's foldy, papier mache face. This one should be pretty good.

OH YEAH?

WHO GIVES A FUCK?

I mean COME ON. Plus yes it has been done before - the Jonas Brothers have a veritable stranglehold on that market now you set of tits.

The Prodigy - Invaders Must Die (Take Me To The Hospital)

So this review's a few years late. The reason why being; it took me a while to get round to buying it, i've been on a month long drug binge in its honour, and my brain hurts from trying to figure out which of his own albums Liam Howlett has borrowed from to make each song. So don't judge me.

The drug binge bit is a slight falsification, but if I did want to go on one, the refreshing intensity of The Prodigy's fifth (less than I'd of imagined) studio album would serve as an apt sountrack to do so. 'hey guys, knock me up another speedball and we'll go across town!'. Influences from the modern influx of electronic music are inevitable, even for a collective as seasoned and autonomous as these boys. But what isn't to be forgotten is that these borrowings can be traced convincingly back to the inception of the genre, a period which Prodigy were instrumental in defining anyway.

"I 'ear thunda, but theres no rain, this kind of thunder breaks walls and windowpanes" is the sound of the heady infusion of their old skool raggae influences clashing full force with genuinely inventive modern breaks, and the sound of a band growing their balls back after a lackluster 2004 outing.

I'm not going to lie, I personally don't feel that Keith Flint provides much more than an injection of nostalgia, bringing very little to the table than aside from a familiar voice and some pretty aseptic lyrics. Other visitations to their bygone sound are much more effective though, with pretty much every synth bleep and distorted child/alien voice gibbering nonsensically filling the listener with glee.

This is a genuinely well rounded record, from the crystal methly catchy self-titled track to racey little treats like 'Thunder' and the instrument heavy 'Stand Up'. Now, wheres that mescaline gone...

4/5

Bat For Lashes - Two Suns (April 6th 2009)

Its been a while since Natasha Khan put out her first record as Bat For Lashes - long enough that you'd imagine a comeback album would be nothing short of a master stroke given the deserved success of her seminal outing. It has to be said that I was initially swayed by the obvious Björk comparisons, but I enjoyed Fur and Gold (2006) to the point where it was very apparent Khan is a talent in her own right. Its also worth noting that I'm quite partial to some pretty twee and twinkly musical stylings so I was able to get into Fur and Gold and look past some of the wafty pixy crap and enjoy it for what it was, an original album from a recognition hungry debutante.

With a bar well and truly raised its somewhat of a shame to see Khan go running face first into it with 'Two Suns', scattering dream catchers and fairy dust all over the floor in the process. The album relies heavily on previously successful conventions; a plethora of instruments (for the most part played by Khan herself), dream-world musings, spoken-word waftyness, and a distinct different in styles song to song. All well and good but I can't help feeling that there's little new in many ways, thus the whole thing can get a little suffocating. The best evidence of this comes with 'Two Planets' which features music seemingly from Beyond Thunderdome and her babbling about interplanetary gravitational crap throughout.

Don't you dare get me wrong, there's still flashes of brilliance here in tracks like 'Peace of Mind' - Beautiful in its simplicity, letting Khan's haunting voice do the work. The way it should be really. The production of Two Suns retains the high level of her first album, with intricately woven layers of sound ebbing and flowing effortlessly as evidenced in 'Siren Call' and 80's synths on 'Pearl's Dream'.

Not her best yet but still worth checking out.

3/5

TASTEE TONII - SUGAR TITS (JOHNNY FUNKPANTZ REMIX)(SALTEE GAMMUN EDIT-A03 FEAT. GAMBLINN GARRY JR. )

Don't get me wrong you idiots, I've enjoyed a few of these new fangled "remixes" in my time, and that's fine. Its just getting a bit out of hand now i feel. It could be argued that these increasingly complex song variants serve merely as a lexicon of bullshit to mystify those seen to be less knowledgeable by the these fame-hungry stay-at-home music producers.

It could also be argued that these variations upon often vastly popular songs are a chance for another artist to push said hit into the hyperspace of pop prevalence, using the bare-bones of its beats or lyrical content (or both yeah?) in new and exciting ways.

But you'd be wrong either way, because most of the time they're just a massive load of shite that offer nothing supplementary to the original appeal (if there was one)and highlight one as merely devoid of innovation. Case in point comes where I type Mogwai Fear Satan into ITunes and spend about 45 minutes being subjected to possibly intentionally shit variants of one of the most spotless songs ever put together.

Oh, its alright if you call them things like this though

Just as a side note - I don't like to advertise but if you need somebody to come and shout at you about something, then I'm available for weddings and funerals. But not Barmitzvah's because i dropped a kid face first off that 'coming of age stool' thing at the last one.